“How can you say such a frightening thing!?”, she exclaimed, wide-eyed and gaping, focusing on his dark, deep eyes that looked at her with the utmost care.
She started to stand up from the sofa they were both in. He tried to hold on to her hands, not forcing her to stay but without letting go easily. He had thought of all possible ways to inform her of his decision, a decision that was more agreeing to reality rather than really deciding. There was no other option but to comply once you got the call.
“Frightening? What is there frightening about this? My dear, my dearest love, we live and we die, there’s nothing to it but nature”. He replied to her with a soft smile and the eyes of a lover. “We all walk towards our deaths, some of us willingly some others without noticing it”.
“That’s frightening. When you speak thus. How can you believe so? Nature is as cruel as it is death!”, she exclaimed, releasing her hands from his grasp at last, managing to stay away from him as much as the magnetic attraction of their unity allowed her to.
“My own one, we are born to do nothing but live and we live for nothing but to meet death, everything in between must be as marvellous as possible, you know this”.
“No!”, her eyes were holding tears, her cheeks red with fury and the effort to hold an exploding river of sadness that threatens to overwhelm her, to drag her down into the dark oblivion she was afraid no one but him could save her from.
“You’ve offered me a marvelous life I’ve could have dreamed of. What else do you wish for us, my love! What else but the elation of our love and the knowledge that from here there is nothing but a cliff? You know as well as I do that the universe won’t allow us to stay in this perfect state forever”. He stepped up, getting closer to her, trying to hold her, fighting her weak desire to run.
“But why now? My wonder, my love, why now? You know I won’t survive without you”. The natural dam that women have to support the rush of their sudden feelings broke down, she could resist no more as she fell into his arms, tears pouring down as she felt the world crumbling beneath their feet.
“Because I can’t decide when the time comes. If not today it will be tomorrow, but it will certainly be”, he holds her tight against his chest, feeling the convulsions of fear, anger and sadness that shook her slim, beautiful body. “You must understand! I can’t leave you without your understanding”.
“Understanding?! I shall never understand why you speak as if you were not to return, so much you fear our decline that leaves me you must?”, she finished the sentence in a whisper, afraid of her own angry words as much as of his reaction to them.
“Oh, no. Life of me, you know that’s not the truth. Everything I have, I would give away for the possibility of enjoying our decline together, but the call has come and I must answer. There is nothing to it”. He could not manage to keep the fear at bay, would be she be alright once he left? Would her life be brilliant or just a mere shadow of her real self? “I must know you will be alright. You must promise me you will be alright”.
“Will you promise me you will come back?”, she replied hastily.
“That would be a false promise and you know how I hate false hopes. I must tell you, my love, that I won’t come back at all. Even if I ever come back to you, which I will fight to do, I won’t be the same. I won’t ever be the one that holds you as I do now”. He was as sure of this as he was sure she would be fine, yes, she was the stronger of the two, she would survive much longer that he could, bringing colour to the world as she had always done.
“I will forever miss you”, she said, folding her arms around him. Slowly increasing the pressure as if to prevent his departure. He felt delighted by it. How wonderful a goodbye could be! Nothing but love can come from a forced separation, nothing but the memories of the good times and the sadness for the future that won’t be but could have.
“And I will forever love you, my dear”. He replied, taking her chin and raising her eyes so they would meet his. Her deep, ocean blue eyes starting to get swallowed by the tears looked back at him. He found nothing but happiness in them. She was such a wonder! He hoped he was a coward. A coward would refuse the world just to be with her.
She was incredibly strong, even through the darkest of times. She was the one who raised them both from the depths of misery, even though society called him a hero, she was the hidden gem, the radiant sun with unlimited patience and love, his muse and reason to exist.
“I’ll be waiting for you. You know that. If you ever come back look for me, I will fix you. I don’t care in how many pieces they break you, I will put them all together and bring back the one I love”.
“I am sure you would do so, my dear. I am sure there is nothing you could do but bring me happiness, but the man that will come back, if he ever does, won’t be me. I only hope you will love me so”. The roles now changed. He was sure she would come back from the ashes if she ever burned, but would he? He was not so sure anymore. She was a wonder by herself; who was he without her?
“Our bond goes deeper than anything they could ever reach. I will wait for you”, she finished.
“And I will come back to you”, he promised.
“War won’t tear us apart”. They said together, and everything was settled. Only fortune would tell what the future had in mind. Death was waiting for them both and they knew love would forever unite them.
“War will only make us stronger”. They both thought, without knowing it.